As I was driving home today, I began to think of a former colleague of mine who was engaged and planning her wedding. She was chatting in the office at lunch one day about her wedding and being meticulous over every little detail, flowers, tables, food and I swear it felt like it was dragging on for the duration of lent. I asked what all guys would ask in this scenario, “where’s your fiancé going on his stag party?” to which she replied “Oh he’ll have a quiet one, maybe stay local, he’s not big on nights out”.
My jaw dropped in shock, I even gasped. I felt the urge there and then to leave work and whisk this guy I’ve never met away on a stag weekend of epic proportions. I’d call in my group of lads who are seasoned drinkers and make sure he gets a proper send off. The only thing local about this guys stag I thought, should be the local anesthetic he gets after he splits open his head after collapsing in a heap outside some chipper.
All this got me thinking, what’s the real reason for the stag party? It’s for the lads!
And before you start saying of course it is, hear me out. The real reason for the stag party is to celebrate your friends wedding properly. Out of the glaring eyes of your other half. Let’s call a spade a spade here lads, ye wouldn’t act the way ye did on the stag weekend on the wedding day.
A stag party is basically a wedding organised by lads, the way lads would want it. Men don’t really care for flowers the same way women do.
To start with, the fine dining that we are all so used to and expect is replaced by pizza, chips, curry, burgers, fry ups and crisps. Proper party food and essential eating for a weekend bender. The only thing close to wedding food you might have is a carvery.
The Dress Code.
Then there’s your attire. Let’s be fair, most guys are not comfortable being dressed up in nice clothes for a prolonged period of time. Your mind is racing about what you might spill on yourself, and even more so if you just rented the suit. If you think I’m lying, watch a wedding through the course of a night and watch the men slowly remove items of clothing, the jacket first, then the waistcoat, then the tie goes around the head, shirt is pulled out of trousers and the voilá, topless man with a tie around his head, because you can hide stains easier on a black trousers than a white shirt, and sure you can always clean yourself.
No such problem on a stag party weekend. 3 days, 3 sets of jocks. 1 outfit and you don’t care what mess you get on it. You’ll probably burn them when you get back anyway.
The ceremony, you know, that hour and a half you spend in the church hearing ‘her dress is gorgeous’, ‘come here to me girl, it’s Vera Wang’, ‘Who are the bridesmaids?’,’She shouldn’t be wearing white if ya know what I mean’, and everyone’s stomach rumbling because they haven’t eaten all day in preparation for the dinner in the hotel afterwards and finally coming to the two words you came to hear ‘I do!’.
That hour and half is better spent on a stag party. After you’ve had a big fry up and a cure, time for some stag activities like shooting your best friend in paintballing, getting your adrenaline going karting, even jumping of piers, surfing, or just simply getting the sport in down the pub uninterrupted.
Then we have speeches. The usual etiquette is both fathers would say a few words. Then the bestman and then the newlyweds would say a few short thank you’s, and proclaim there love once again to each other in case the people down the back of the church weren’t paying attention earlier in the day.
There is a lot of pressure on the best man to deliver a good speech, heart felt, a funny story, even something on how they became friends, all the while making sure to not land himself or any of the lads in any shit. No need for that sort of pressure on a stag party. The best man will just have to use the simple words. That holds even more resonance after jager bombs, ‘I love you, man!…Shots…’
The First Dance.
Moving swiftly onto the first dance, always a favourite with the ladies. That’s because most women have a natural rhythm and dance effortlessly to any song. Guys not so much, we are as graceful as an elephant wearing lead boots. So which bright spark thought it would be a great idea to drag him up in front of everyone he knows, so they can all watch him fail miserably at dancing.
Then we have the first dance on a stag party. There is no set time for it. No tables moved or waiting on dinners to be finished for it to happen. Just the right tune comes on and boom he’s away. Michael Jackson eat your heart out. The main difference between the two is that he’s had hours of drinking behind him. He has huge amounts of dutch courage. And, he’s able to break out all those cringy dance moves that have no right being anywhere near a first dance on wedding day. ‘Stack the shelves!’ is a particular favourite!
So there you have it the real reason for the stag party!
So lads, don’t forget to check out our website and also follow us on Facebook if you’re looking for more information for your Stag Party. Whether it’s activities, locations, ideas or tips, we’ve got it all!