The Stag party is a time-honoured male tradition that’s up there with knowing you can beat your dad in a fight, out run him, “exploring one’s own body” for the first time and dating countless amount of women that make you go ‘what was I thinking? Christ!’. It’s that moment in a guy’s life where he knows everything will be different from this moment on. So here’s What You Should Tell Your Fiancé About The Stag Weekend.
So skip forward to the Sunday night and your home after the stag weekend, a little worse for wear, and resembling a malnourished cat.
Your beloved asks you about the weekend, and let’s be honest here all you want to do is crawl up in a corner and not be bothered, but she wants to know all the juicy details. Perhaps because of the perceived dread at “having one vagina for the rest of your life,” women imagine the absolute worst of a stag party. Or she’s simply trying to find out how nuts her hen party can be, the sly dog.
So here’s what you should tell your fiancé about the stag weekend when she starts asking. This is the point where you do your best impression of your fiancé, we all have one lads.
Q1. Well…Did ye go to strip club? Did you get a lap dance?
Babe, you know I can’t lie to you, we did go to one, but it wasn’t great. (C’mon, your never going to say it’s unreal). I didn’t get a lap dance as none of the girls were that good looking. I’d have much preferred one from you. (Always good to be looking for brownie points).
Q2. Did ye drink a lot?
What you really want to say is… “eh, does a bear shit in the woods? Of course I did! Do you know who I was away with?!”… What you will say is…”I actually didn’t drink that much but it’s been ages since I’ve been on a weekend away like that. So I’m feeling a bit crap now” (Que flashbacks to the boat race you did, the line of shots and that game of kings that knocked 5 years of your life. Take me back to the weekend!).
Q3. Where did you get those bruises?
The answer to this question is the reason paint-balling is the perfect stag party activity. When she asks this question, you respond with…”ah those, they’re from paintball”…She doesn’t need to know that they are in fact from the drunken antics you got up to after the club. Why is there a trolley always next to a chipper or club anyway?
Q4. Do you have any pictures from the weekend?
No, no, no is what you say. If she asks again then you say no again. The last thing your fiancé needs to see is you face down in a pool of your own sick, surrounded by the groomsmen that will be at the wedding all giving the thumbs and pretending to dry hump you. Use the old line, ‘I don’t take many pictures’ if you’re really stuck.
Now that you’ve satisfied your fiancé’s questions it’s time to put the kettle on, lob on netflix, and chill with the thought you had a great stag weekend. So there you go lads, What You Should Tell Your Fiancé About The Stag Weekend.
So lads, don’t forget to check out our website and also follow us on Facebook if you’re looking for more information for your Stag Party. Whether it’s activities, locations, ideas or tips, we’ve got it all!
