Witty And Funny Best Man Speech Openers

Witty And Funny Best Man Speech Openers

Witty And Funny Best Man Speech Openers

The Best Man has a lot to contend with. He’s the guy leading all the stag party planning with our goodselves of course. But, he also has the daunting task of delivering a funny, witty, side splitting best man speech that also doesn’t offend anyone or see himself being shipped off in an early taxi home. With an great speech it’s all about reeling them in at the start. So here a few Witty And Funny Best Man Speech Openers to warm up the crowd!


“Before I start ladies and gentleman. The bride and groom have kindly asked me to remove from my speech anything that resembles an innuendo. I may have missed some, so if I come across anything risque, I’ll make sure to whip it out straight away”


“I’ll just get a few formalities out of the way to start with ladies and gentleman. First off, if you have your mobile phone…keep it switched on and keep yourself entertained during this speech. Secondly, should anyone get a text with a good joke in it. Please do forward it on.”


“Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentleman. I’m here to deliver a speech about the Groom. However, what can I say about him that hasn’t already been a topic on the Jeremy Kyle show?”


“Evening all, it’s been an emotional day so far…even the cake is in tiers”


“Good evening everyone. The bride and groom have asked that I don’t talk about the Stag Party weekend, some of the groom’s mishaps, embarrassing moments or ex-girlfriends. So, that’s all from me, thanks all for listening!”


“Everyone knows that the bride is looking stunning today. She’s a wonderful woman and we can all agree she deserves the perfect man. Sadly, you don’t always get what you deserve!”


“Evening all, I’m the Best Man. I’m not much of a public speaker to be honest. So, if you see me looking down at this piece of paper. I’m not checking notes, it’s actually a picture of the drink I’m going to have afterwards”


“Being asked to be the Best Man is kinda like being called for jury duty. You don’t really want to do it but you know you have too. You also have to dress up smartly and let’s be honest pretend to be an upstanding member of the community. The only things is that I had no say in the life sentence given out today.”


“Those of you that know me, know that I’m not real big on speeches”…(Sit down)


“Evening all, where do I start… (Grooms name) met the love of his life 20 years ago, when he met me”


“Hi everyone. (Grooms Name) didn’t have an easy decision in choosing his best man. First, he called his most charming friend, and he said no. Second, he called his most trusted and smartest friend. He said no too. Then, he asked his most good looking friend, and he also said no. Then he gave me a call, and I said (Grooms Name), there is now way I can say no to you four times.”


“One morning I found out that I was going to be the best man at my best friend’s wedding. That wedding isn’t until next summer! So, I agreed to be in this one for practice”



Hopefully, these will help break the ice when you kick off your Best Man speech. We love to look after all our stags, from the Stag Party weekend to the big day!



So lads, don’t forget to check out our website and also follow us on Facebook if you’re looking for more information for your Stag Party. Whether it’s activities, locations, ideas or tips, we’ve got it all!

Written by:

Related Posts:

Table of Contents