The Stages Of The Stag Party Hangover
We’ve all had one lads. You really can’t avoid getting a hangover at some point in your adult life. You will certainly struggle to hide from it after a mental stag party night. Especially where the aim of the game on most stags is to plough the groom within an inch of his life with alcohol. And let’s be honest, you’ll be doing same. For moral support of course. When you’re shoulder deep into the session you will give little thought to the hangover the following day. But lads try and be prepared for The Stages Of The Stag Party Hangover!
1. A Mouth Like Ghandi’s Flip Flop Stage!
The first stage of the stag party hangover you’ll experience will be the dry mouth. You’ll wake up to the feeling you’ve just dragged your tongue across the Sahara dessert. You’re tongue will feel like a sheet of sand paper. Your mouth will be so dry you’ll actually spend a solid minute trying to return some sort of saliva to your mouth. Once you’ve re-hydrated your mouth you’ll realise how bad a call that was and make a run for the jacks to wash out whatever dried in taste was in your mouth. Our advice a strong toothpaste and mouthwash or a can of beer to drink in bed and plough on into day 2!
2. The Panic Checking Stage!
Once you’ve gotten rid of whatever died in your mouth from the night before you’ll start checking to make sure you came back with your valuables. You’ll start by checking your wallet (If you have any money left), keys and phone. If you can’t find your phone at first this can accelerate the hangover. So remain calm lads. If you’re like me it’s probably in your shoe. A strange drunk habit I know.
3. The Standing Upright Stage!
This stage of the stag party hangover will have you feeling like you’ve aged 50 years over the course of an 8 hour sleep. You’ll try standing and every bone, muscle and tendon will ache. Your spine will crack with a sound like it’s trying to have a conversation with Flipper the dolphin. You will try and figure out did you fall over the night before, take a spin in a shopping trolley (we’ve all done it), or decide it was a good idea to throw yourself down a stairs again to impress a member of the opposite sex.
4. The Savage Appetite or Nausea Stage!
At this stage of the stag party hangover you’ll be either one of two people. You’ll either be the lad who has a savage appetite that needs about 4 fry ups to satisfy their hunger for breakfast and get them on the road back to being a respectable member of society. Or you’ll be immersed in the nausea stage and even of the thought of food will have you throwing up the entire contents of your lower bowel. God help you if you catch the smell of a Red Bull and you think of all the Jager Bombs you had the night before.
5. The Varying Body Temperature Stage!
I’m sure this stage of the hangover is simply your body trying to get rid of the alcohol in your system. One minute you’re sweating bullets and stinking up the gaff with a dangerous combo of body odor and drink. Next minute you’re wrapping yourself up in more layers than an onion to hold onto whatever precious body heat you have left.
This stage of the hangover will play havoc on you later in the day if you decide to go for a cure. One minute you’ll be certain you’re getting an ice cold beer then boom! Your body temperature flips and you’ll be ordering a load of Irish Coffee’s. To be fair both good calls either way.
6. Losing The Ability To Speak Stage!
We’ve all suffered from this stage after a big night on the sauce. Your inner monologue is working perfectly. Able to string wonderful sentences together. Be witty, funny and intelligent. Then you actually speak in public. You will say something so profoundly stupid or in audible that your mates will consider bringing you to A&E to get checked out.
7. Remembering What You Did Last Night Stage!
At some point during your hangover you’ll begin to remember snippets of the night before. It will start with remembering what pubs you were in. Then how much you had to drink. What drink tipped you over the edge. What dance moves you pulled. Where you went for a bit of food. Then swiftly onto the drunk texts you sent. The fear and panic sets in as you check your phone. You’ll be praying that they weren’t “that bad” but they are. That cure pint is definitely happening now.
8. The Going For Another Pint Stage!
When you are on a stag party weekend. You very rarely want it to stop. From the moment that first drink touches your lips your settling in for a weekend long session which is hard to stop. Even after 2 big nights out, a thumping hangover, you’ll be considering going for just one more pint. A cure is always a welcome call in my books for a variety of reasons. But it also allows you and your mates enjoy a slightly more relaxing beer and digest what was a brilliant stag weekend!
Finally, if you’re interest in booking your Stag Party, contact us today on 051390383 or email firstname.lastname@example.org!
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